Tuesday, July 8, 2008

Thinking and pondering...

Sometimes I just ponder way too much!
I've been thinking lately on what our M/s relationship is.
Trying to "define" what we share.

Ours in not like a traditional BDSM M/s D/s relationship. He challenges me and encourages me mentally and emotionally.

What we have works for us. I consider what we have as a 24/7 relationship. I am owned by him, although he is mine also, My Master, my partner, my lover, my Daddy, my EVERYTHING!
There are no formal transitions.

I am always his slave and he is my Master.
Even though there are times when J3 likes to let go and allow me to explore what I call my "evil" side with him.

I love that I get the keys and am allowed to bring him to places he's brought me, so that he can experience the feelings of just letting go.
This doesn't mean that I am dominate over him.

I am still his slave and he is my Master....but he has graciously allowed his slut to explore her dominant desires by allowing her to please and tease him in ways that most would not see as him being Dominate.

Both myself and J3 have varying tastes and a variety of fetishes. And on occasion he gets to fly over edges with me holding the reins. We are pervy and we love that we are!

A lot of people don’t want to do “24/7″ because they think it means maintaining the protocols of traditional BDSM or M/s all the time. For us is doesn't mean that. Protocols aren't always in effect. What 24/7 means for us is that our chosen dynamic is for real all the time.

It’s always there and we know it. We are united. We interact continuously and exchange physical, emotional, spiritual, sexual, and sadomasochistic energy. I am more complete when he is with me. I know that he will protect my body, my mind, and my soul with his strength, wisdom and heart.

He is everything to me, as I am everything to him.
I’ve always disliked the labels. I'm never Domme to him, I’m his submissive, I like topping him, but I'm not a top. I'm just me. Just his.

It really doesn't matter what we share is called (except to those people who set rules and the protocols, I never really think about those kinds of etiquette, but everyone’s different!)
What matters is we work. We fit.
That’s all, and for us that’s perfect!

I doubt that he would ever "submit" to anyone. So I believe he is a Dominate to the core.
I don't think of myself as a switch even though” to all intents and purposes.” that is exactly what I am. Because I involve myself in situations where at times I am Dominant and at times I am submissive. I may be defined as a "switch" in the protocols of the lifestyle. However, I’m always his submissive.

Switching for me isn't a negation in my thoughts and feelings about what I want or need. It's about knowing that I like both sides of the track (although I do have my preference) and knowing that I don't have to live my life thinking that I must choose one or the other.
Enough rambling for now....its late and I am yawning..nite nite
Be Well- Wendy


ki said...


you have a colourful nature wendy. Not only black or white. It's like you say: what truly matters is that you fit to each other.


Anonymous said...

As a native of Grand Rapids, Mi, I know it's a very conservative town. Do you find many like minded folks?

J3 and his slut Wendy said...

I'll take a stab at answering your question, anonymous. This is Jim, aka J3.

A long time ago (pre-internet days) I asked a man who owned an adult book store if he could find a common thread in his customers. He responded "The people that come here are the same ones that stand in line with you at the grocery store, work in the next building, and sit in the pew behind you in church."

Take a look at any states members in Collarme.com and you will see they are from villages to the mega-cities. Not having any stats in front of me from the census bureau (The percent of perves by geographic area. Yeah right), I would have to think that the numbers fall within some common range anywhere. Maybe higher in San Francisco, lower in Salt Lake City.

"They" are everywhere; and so are we.

And yes, there are many like folks. And we have had the pleasure to meet some of them.