Wednesday, January 9, 2008

My heart is filled with so much joy!

With this New Year come new hopes and new dreams.

To My Master, my love, my partner, my life.

I know there must be many people who go through life never realizing how truly important they are; never realizing that they actually saved a person's life. I want you to know the depth of my gratitude. I want you to know you saved my life. I want to sincerely thank you for saving my life and filling my life with joy. I know you'll say it’s just you. But you truly do not understand how precious you are to me.

Darling I understand. I see it in your eyes, hear it in your voice, and feel it in your touch. I feel both humbled and proud. You most often see the humbled, but the proud keeps my heart beating.

Because of my past experiences, it is very important to me to feel safe and secure. I have never in my life been treated so well by someone. With such loving kindness, I feel spoiled just to be with you, you always try to make me smile. You love my smile. And I do smile! HUGE!

Your heart is so honest and loving you are the kindest man, I am most fortunate to be yours. And when you treat me as your slave or your slut I feel so wanted and needed. I never in my wildest dreams thought I would meet the man of those dreams, you didn't exist. You do exist! Your mine and you want me as yours...forever.

Forever and ever. We already have the matching cigarbands, now all we need is the cupcake with a candle on it.

I don't ever have to be anything but myself with you, and this is of the reasons I love you so!

I thought I would share with our readers some thoughts and reasons why I cherish you.

In our vanilla life treats me like a queen, and he helped me to realize that I can do anything I set my heart on. He makes me feel like I'm the most beautiful lady. I feel loved, respected, beautiful, treasured and much appreciated.

When we are playing privately I love feeling controlled by him I love being his slut. For many people this concept doesn't even exist. My personal definition is that the term 'slut' means a woman who embraces her sexuality, and holds few inhibitions with her partner.

I love the joy that I feel when he is using me for his pleasure. I love being told I'm a nasty slut, a dirty whore or a good girl. My heart soars when he says "Scream for Daddy"

It is a power exchange and when we exchange our energies we both explore the depths of our souls and self’s that we've only dreamed of sharing with another. For me, these feelings can not be initiated through any other approach.

There's a release in relinquishing my physical power to him. He knows my sexual psyche so well, and is so loving and yet so cruel . It is this combination that fills the void, the feelings that for so long I had to repress.

And now I get to to spend my life with him. How incredible is that!

I can completely reveal to him all of my fantasies, wants and desires no matter how off the wall, or twisted they may be and know that he's not going to look at me and say "You need psychiatric counseling" he'll just smile and say " Get the hood my slut"

In my partner's presence, being his slut I feel so protected and wanted. And it's an amusingly vulgar, sassy expression of my love for him. I enjoy my pleasure, his pleasure, our pleasure, and everything we are together. It's here, with him, that I know that there is room to head off in any direction we want. In our personal space, there is fluidity in our sex play, and there are very few taboos. The fact that his dominant tendencies are so well suited to my submissive ones just sweetens the experience for both of us.

And with an occasional reversal of roles, if I want to slap the side of his face playfully before lowering my cunt onto his lips, I've got nothing to worry about. Sometimes we like to let me drive.

Yet even in this context, sexual submission is something that most of my friends and family seem to neither understand nor respect. In a world filled with violent, hateful sexual media and the non-stop denigration of women in advertising and cinema, my submissive tendencies and need for being spanked, flogged and bossed around are hardly the kinds of things I'd mention indirectly in mixed company.

Past lovers made half-hearted attempts at satisfying my desires, and some pushed them away altogether, none were totally comfortable with my need to have my darker desires stirred and my inner layers peeled away and exposed. And for me, my needs and wants often take the form of wanting to used or beaten while wearing a collar and leash.

Now with him my needs to be pushed around, pinned down, spanked, slapped and loved in a kind of way most do not understand, are being met.

I take pleasure in being able to dress in a way that we think is sensual and sexy. Whether it be a rubber dress or leather corset, I love to entice and express my sexuality knowing this is what he desires from me. He often toys with me by planting seeds that he will one day “show me off” in public. I love when he teases me so! The feeling that at any moment, I might be pulled aside at a party, and have my polite and dignified facade stripped away.” Such a slut," he teases. His voice is affectionate and deep. "My slut." "Mine" I melt inside with the certainty of being his.

He allows my soul to soar in accepting that I am his slut, he quenches my lustful thirst and we both find pleasure in the darkest of our desires. It is here in this space with him that I feel most natural and free with my sexuality and self without the chains that society forces women to wear in order to meet its moral standards.

My Master-I love you so much...I am so in love with you! Thank you for offering your hand to me and grasping mine when I reached out to hang on to yours.

My Wendy, my love, my partner, my reason for sanity... I am so in love with you. Thank you for opening up your heart and soul to me. And I think that we both extended our hands at the same moment.

Life is short. Break the rules, forgive quickly, kiss slowly, love truly, laugh uncontrollably, and never regret anything that made you smile.


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